Tennis star Naomi Osaka has said she doesn’t feel like she is in her own body, having returned to tennis after giving birth.
The four-time Grand Slam champion returned to professional tennis in January after giving birth to her first daughter, Shai, last July.
But since her comeback, the 26-year-old has struggled for consistency, failing to progress past the second round of the French Open and Wimbledon after a first-round exit at the Australian Open.
Her latest loss, to American Ashlyn Krueger in the final round of qualifying for the Cincinnati Open, prompted a heartfelt social media post.
“I’ve been trying to figure out how I feel for the past several hours,” she wrote on Tuesday.
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The former world number one added: “My biggest issue isn’t losses… my biggest issue is that I don’t feel like I’m in my body.
“It’s a strange feeling, missing balls I shouldn’t miss, hitting balls softer than I remember I used to. I try and tell myself ‘it’s fine, you’re doing great, just get through this one and keep pushing’, mentally it’s really draining though.
“Internally I hear myself screaming ‘what the hell is happening’.”
The tennis star added: “The only feeling I could liken how I feel right now to is being postpartum.
“That scares me because I’ve been playing tennis since I was three, the tennis racquet should feel like an extension of my hand.
“I don’t understand why everything has to feel almost brand new again. This should be as simple as breathing to me but it’s not and I genuinely did not give myself grace for that fact until just now.”
The star was flocked with support after the post, including from French player and world No 4 Caroline Garcia, who wrote: “You are a great champion and will always be.”
Qualifying for the Cincinnati Open would have provided Osaka with good practice before the final Grand Slam of the year, the US Open, where she is a two-time champion (2018 and 2020).
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But her current ranking means she will need a wild-card entry into the main draw which starts on 26 August in New York.
Choosing to remain committed to the sport, Osaka said: “I love the process (though the process doesn’t love me sometimes haha), putting in work every day and eventually having the opportunity to get to where you want to be.
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“I know life isn’t guaranteed so I want to do the best that I can with the time that I have, I want to teach my daughter that she can achieve so many things with hard work and perseverance. I want her to aim for the stars and never think her dreams are too big.
“Nothing in life is promised but I realised that I can promise myself to work as hard as I can and give it my best shot till the very end.
She ended by saying: “See you in New York.”