Nicole Kidman is feeling more emotions than ever in her 50s, and at this point in her life, she’s allowing herself to let them hit her instead of trying to shut them off or numb herself. The Lioness actress, 57, shared in a new interview with GQ published on Monday, November 18, that “mortality, connection, life coming and hitting you” are some of the things she feels more intensely about than ever.
“And the loss of parents, raising children, marriage, and all of the things that go into making you a fully sentient human. I’m in all of those places. So life is, whew. It’s definitely a journey,” Kidman, who shares daughters Sunday Rose, 16, and Faith Margaret, 13, with husband Keith Urban, added.
The actress is also mom to daughter Bella, 31, and son Connor, 29, whom she adopted with ex-husband Tom Cruise. Kidman, however, is reportedly estranged from her two older children, who are allegedly close to their father and were once known for choosing the Church of Scientology, like him. Kidman hasn’t been seen with the duo in public for 16 years.
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Returning to her overstimulated emotions these days, Kidman said her deeper thoughts on the aforementioned matters have led her to “wake up at 3 a.m. crying and gasping,” because, as mentioned earlier, she is not numbing her feelings anymore but fully embracing them.
The Oscar winner recently lost her mother, Janelle, 84, prompting her to leave the Venice International Film Festival early to return home to Australia. When Babygirl’s director Halina Reijn accepted the Best Actress Award for Kidman at the festival, she read a statement from her on stage. “I’m in shock and I have to go to my family, but this award is for her, she shaped me, she guided me, and she made me me,” Kidman expressed in her statement, read by Reijn.
In October, Kidman grieved her mom while attending the premiere of Lioness season 2, saying life without Janelle is a hard road, but she’s trying her best to hang in there. The actress admitted it was bittersweet celebrating any significant achievement in life without having her mother around to share it with.
Kidman lost her father, Anthony, in 2014. Reflecting on the days following her father’s demise in her GQ chat, Nicole recalled the moment when her daughters, who were four and six at the time, saw her crying. According to her, when her youngest saw her weeping, she asked her older sister if their mom was acting or if she was crying for real. Her sister then had to explain to her that Kidman was indeed crying for real and not for the cameras.
The older one, per Kidman, also did her best to console her mother, giving her stern assurance that everything would be better tomorrow.
