Trigger Warning: This article includes references to sexual abuse
Justin Baldoni is reminiscing about his time filming It Ends With Us, revealing how shooting one scene, in particular, led him to experience a near breakdown. The actor and director appeared on Elizabeth Day’s How to Fail podcast on Wednesday, December 4, where he opened up about his experience with sexual trauma and receiving an ADHD diagnosis at age 40, among other topics.
When speaking about his latest big-screen offering, It Ends With Us, the Jane the Virgin star recalled filming the scene in which his character, Ryle Kincaid, finds his wife Lily’s phone and sees her ex-lover Atlas’s number on it. Lily and Atlas are played by Blake Lively and Brandon Sklenar in the flick.
“He’s very jealous, and he’s heartbroken, and he’s angry, and he doesn’t harm her, but you can see in his eyes how dangerous he is. After that scene, I had a near breakdown,” Baldoni shared. “I had to leave and just cry and shake because there was so much pain.”
Baldoni explained that with characters like Ryle, it’s not necessarily about what they do, but that their actions are the result of what they have kept hidden in their hearts for their entire lives. In Ryle’s case, he felt his brother should have been alive in his place following a childhood accident.
Baldoni revealed that portraying the character was challenging and that it stayed with him for a while, even after the project’s conclusion.
In addition to starring, Baldoni directed and executive-produced the film through his Wayfarer Studios. He also spoke to Day about his experience in the filmmaker’s chair. “Directing is a very lonely job,” he said, explaining that people on set instinctively clammed up around him because no one wants to disturb a director. Likewise, he shared that he too kept to himself while directing, realizing that as a leader, he could not let his crew know he was feeling anxious or nervous.
Regarding his past sexual trauma, Baldoni shared that it happened when he was in college. However, he said he has since worked through it with the guidance of his therapist and is even grateful for the experience, as it pushed him to leave college and move to L.A. to pursue his acting dreams.
Baldoni is also thankful to his therapist for consistently encouraging him to get diagnosed with ADHD, which he did earlier this year, receiving a positive result. Ironically, Baldoni appreciates knowing what he suffers from, as it has allowed him to feel better about himself and develop greater compassion for himself.
If you need support or know someone who is struggling with domestic violence, assault, or abuse, please reach out to your nearest mental health specialist, NGO, or speak to someone about it. There are several helplines available for the same.
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